2019, I’m Still Coming For Ya

We are 52 days into 2019.

Shit.

Every year I choose a motto for myself to live by instead of resolutions. I do this because resolutions are so easy to fail at and difficult to keep the momentum going. Usually once I mess up on a resolution I tend to “give up” on it and then forget it all together. Choosing a motto allows for me to have room for “failure” and the opportunity to get back on track. My motto can help me make decisions and create new goals throughout the year. My 2019 motto is: Live Your Best Life.

Why did I choose this motto? Well, I’m glad you asked. 😉

As 2018 was coming to an end, my family and I made some decisions about our lives regarding our goals, our future, our relationships, etc. One decision led us to end a friendship that we had had for some years with a family that we felt was not contributing to our lives in a positive manner. We made goals for our education/homeschool. We made decisions about our budget and finances. We discussed our long term goals. What activities we wanted to do again or what new ones we wanted to tryin 2019. Overall it was really emotional, exhilarating, motivating, and trying.

As 2019 took off. My eyes stayed on my motto: Living My Best Life! Every decision I made, every opportunity I had, I was going to make sure it was going to contribute positively to my life, help me meet my goals, and help me live the best life I could. Then I hit a brick wall. It was like nothing was going right. I was questioning decisions I’d made. I was have doubts about my self-worth. My motivation to get up and attack to the day was gone. I didn’t want to work out. I didn’t want to do my housewife duties. I was binge watching shows about murder and other depressing topics. (This is totally a guilty pleasure of mine and my husbands and always has been). I finally got to the point where I just felt like I was existing and not contributing to my family because I wasn’t “valuable” to my family. I was not what they needed and surely not what they deserved. It. Was. The. Worst. Feeling. Ever.

Luckily I have a support group who know my struggle with OCD and GAD all too well…(my husband, my mom, and my closest friend). This support group who is always available and talk me down from my OCD mindset, listen to me go on about my anxieties over and over and over (thanks OCD), and who build me up. On top of all that, they are brutally honest. The truth hurts sometimes, but it’s important to hear.

These three people helped me identify the flaws in my thinking and behavior and at first were comforting. They gave me reassurance. They tries to build me. They reminded me of the amazing things my family and I are working towards and what I do to contribute. When none of that worked, the messages that were not so “gentle” began to come in. They were rough. But they were true. Messages telling me that I needed to get over whatever the f*ck was getting me down and to do what I needed to do. To pull my head out of my a*s and look around. To quit b*tching and find a solution. (There was more to the messages, but you get my point.)

Tough love always works for me. I don’t know why. So I made some changes to my daily routine. I began to consciously work on improving my view of the world and to see what I was positively contributing to my family. I made an effort to recognize what I did that was beneficial to my family, especially my kids. I made a conscious decision to stop with the negativity and to bring on the positivity.

It worked.

Granted I feel like I wasted nearly 50 days of 2019 being so negative and not using my motto. But the great news is there are still over 300 days left in 2019 for me to live my best life, and I’m not going to let a little hiccup throw me off the tracks. 2019 has thrown some challenges at me and my family already that we’ve dominated.

Now as I get back on my A game, I want to be more active on my blog and to connect more with other homeschooling families. I recently did a “follow train” on instagram that allowed me the opportunity to meet, connect, and chat with literally HUNDREDS of homeschooling families. And sure enough, a lot of them have the same struggles I do! I definitely want to spend the rest of this year meeting and establishing relationships (near and far) with other families. It is so motivating and inspiring to see all of the other homeschoolers out there kicking ass and choosing homeschool as the education avenue for their families. And I choose to be more active in my sharing and documenting of our homeschool journey.

2019, still going to live my best life!

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